Wicked Retold or not
by PocketSevens
Summary: As a young author develops a "Wicked" parody, the cast demands a change from the norm. - FINAL TWO CHAPTERS NOW UP!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ok. Taking a break from my other Wicked story to bring you my first shot at a parody...and since I'm flying solo here, any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. (If anybody wants to volunteer to be a beta reader, please let me know that too.)  
**

**Disclaimer - Of course, I do not own Wicked (I wish I did, though - I'd be resting on a beach somewhere with a lineup of drinks in the sand)  
or any of the other stories/characters/whatever referenced here.**

**BTW - Does anybody know if a "clock tick" represents a second or a minute?  
**

* * *

Bored Ozians - Good news. She's dead. The Wicked Witch of the West is dead. Yadda yadda yadda.

Ozian 1 - Oh look. It's Glinda.

Bored Ozians - Right on cue.

Glinda - Fellow Ozians ... (starts to sing) _Let us be glad, let us be grateful. Let us_ ...(stops mid song)

Author - Huh? What's going on? Glinda, are you alright?

Glinda - No. (Floats down to ground.) I can't do this anymore!

Author - What are you doing? You're deviating from the script!

Glinda - Oh, please. What script? This one? Another "Wicked" parody? Where we follow the same acts as the musical but our lines are screwed up? Please - that has been overplayedified! There are so many different "Wicked" spoofs. Besides, everybody in the fandom already knows the story!

Fiyero - (Walks in from offstage.) Yeah, and how about the gross overcharacterisations? I always seem to come across as completely _**stupid **_in these things!

Boq - I'm always over-obsessive for Galinda!

Elphaba - And I can't take any more green jokes!

Author - Let me guess - it's not easy being green? (Chuckles)

Elphaba - Don't make me turn you into a frog!

Author - ...

Fiyero – Hey, you're a guy.

Author – (sarcastic) Thank you Captain Obvious. So what's your point?

Fiyero – Aren't all fans who are obsessed with "Wicked" called fan_girls_?

Boq – (Snorts) He's a _fangirl!_

Author – Watch it shorty, or I'll start writing some Fiyero/Boq stores!

Creepy Fans – YES!

Boq - ...

Galinda – (Throws up her hands) I'm sick of this. I can't do this anymore! I quit! (Starts to walk offstage.)

Fiyero - Me to.

Elphaba - I'm out.

Boq – See ya.

Author - WAIT! (Everybody stops.) What if we made a deal?

Galinda - What kind of deal?

Author - What if we retold the story in a different setting?

Boq - How different?

Galinda – Hmm…It would have to be something completely different.

Gelphie fans - Yes!

Galinda and Elphaba - NO!

Gelphie fans – (Dejected) Aww!

Author – Completely different I can do. So, do we have a deal?

Galinda – Hang on…

(All cast members get in a huddle and chat amongst themselves. After some time…)

Cast – Deal.

Author – OK…here we go…

(The scenery dissolves into nothingness...)

Galinda – (With massive reverb and digital delay) Space…ace…ace…ace…

Galinda – The final frontier…ier…ier…ier

Galinda – These are the voyages…ges…ges…ges…

Galinda – Hello?...o?...o?...o?

Galinda – Echo…o…o…o…

Author – Get on with it!...it!...it!...it!...

Galinda – of the starship, Galindaprize…ize…ize…ize…

Galinda – Its ongoing mission…is to find the most swankified party ever! Wooo!

Wayne Campbell – (Jumps onstage) Party on Glin!

Galinda – Party on Wayne!

Garth Algar – Wow...Galinda is the queen of Babe-alonya.

Wayne Campbell – Please, if Galinda was a constellation, she'd be "Babe-a-majora"!

Boq – (barf)

Author – Moving on…

Galinda – To boldly go where nobody has gone before!

Annoying Opera Singer – Aaaaa AAAAAAA Aaa aaa (cough)(cough)(hack)

Boq – What's her problem?

Author – She's hasn't been singing for a while. At least she came at a discount.

Boq – (muttering) I'd still ask for a refund.

Galinda - Captain's log, stardate 5256.00. The crew of the Galindaprise was minding their own business when...

(Red light on console lights up. Small buzzer sounds with each blink.)

Shenshen - Like, Galinda, there's this light that keeps blinking. Like, what are we supposed to do?

Boq - It's a sub-space distress call.

Shenshen - Like, oh my god, I'm supposed to know that?

Phannee - Why does she sound like a valley girl?

Author - Because I don't like her.

Shenshen - Oh god, I sound totally heinous. Gag me with a spoon.

Boq - (rolls eyes)

Galinda - On screen.

Shenshen - What's on the screen? Like, I see nothing but space.

Boq - She means put through the call.

Shenshen - Oh.

(Screen changes to face of older man.)

Galinda - This is Captain Galinda Upland of the starship Galindaprise - at your service. (Grandiose bow)

Older man - Captain, I am Governor Diggs of the planet Oz. We saw your ship and have called for your help.

Boq - They must have long-distance scanners to find us.

Governor Diggs - Your ship is pink! You couldn't miss it even if you tried!

Galinda - So, governor, how can we help you?

Governor Diggs - It seems one of our citizens is forming an insurrection against us. She is the most feared person in all of Oz.

Boq, Shenshen, and Phannee - Oooooooooo.

Governor Diggs- She is known as, "The Elphie".

(Ominous music plays)

Elphaba - WAIT A MINUTE!

(sound of record scratching)

Elphaba - "The Elphie"? _That's _the best you can come up with?

Author - It's that or the "Green Goblin"(TM). Which do you want?

Elphaba - (waves hand and walks off in huff) Whatever.

Governor Diggs - As I was saying, we need your help in capturing this criminal. She will thwart all of my plans...uh...I mean...she will be the undoing of all of Oz!

Galinda - Governor Diggs, we will help you find this criminal, since we happen to be in the area, are completely clueless to your plans, and don't even bother to follow the prime directive.

Governor Diggs- Cool.

Boq - Captain, we have arrived at Oz.

Shenshen - Like, how did we get here so fast?

Boq - Plot holes.

Shenshen - Huh? Like, there are _no_ roads in space. How can there be pot holes?

Boq - PLOT HOLES! (mutters to himself) Oh, please let her be killed off in this story.

* * *

**To be continued...**

**The idea for "Plot Holes" came from "Fiyraba Parodies" by "Elphaba-The Wicked One"  
**

**Please review and let me know what you think. Does is stink? Is it good? Please let me know.**

**Thanks. :)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much to Demlurina, Tashie Helena, Briar Elwood, ElphabaROCKS and DefyingGravity67 for their feedback and reviews. You guys rock! (Thanks too to ****DefyingGravity67 for beta-ing this chapter).  
**

**As I said before, unhappily, I do not own Wicked...or Star Trek…or whatever else appears in this story. (Man, if I had, I could have made a killing by now…)**

**

* * *

**(Pink bubble magically appears at the base of the Emerald Palace, and Galinda, Boq, Shenshen and Phanee appear inside the bubble. Bubble then disappears, leaving our friends in front of the Palace).

Galinda – (into communicator) Transport complete. (Looking up at the Palace) Wow! It's big.

Phannee – It's green.

Boq – Why is my outfit _pink_?

Phannee – We're _all_ wearing pink. What's your problem?

Boq – I'M A GUY AND I'M WEARING PINK!

Shenshen – Duh, pink goes with green! So, like, get over yourself.

Boq – (puts hand on phaser, mutters to himself) One shot…just one shot...that's all I need.

Gov. Diggs – Welcome all of you to the Oz. (Turns to older woman on his left) This is Ms. Morrible, my assistant.

Author – Morrible the horrible!

Morrible – Quiet! That's joke's way overused. Besides, you'll ruin the foreshadowing.

Author – Yeah, like we can't see it coming?

Gov. Diggs – (Turning to the woman on his right) And this is our head of security, Nessarose.

Nessa – Hello everybody. Now if you'll follow me to the conference room, we will…

(Sees Boq)

Nessa – …

Boq – …

(They stare at each other intently and move slowly towards each other.) (Music starts…)

Gary Wright – _Oooo, Dream Weaver…I believe you can get me through the night…_

Nessa – (Sheepishly) Hi.

Boq – (Dreamy) Hi.

Nessa – I'm Nessarose.

Boq – (still dreamy) A Nessarose by any other name would smell as sweet.

(Music stops abruptly)

Nessa – Huh?

Boq – (slaps head) D'oh!

Shenshen – Like, nice one, Shakespeare.

Boq – (fumes)

Gov. Diggs – Ahem…this way please.

(All enter conference room. Picture of green woman appears on a screen.)

Galinda – GAA! It's the Green Goblin! (TM)

Phannee – It's the Green Lantern! (TM)

Shenshen – Like, it's Megan Fox!

Boq – (shakes head) Please, it's Teal Wicks!

Elphaba – (offstage) (sigh)…and the green jokes come out…

Nessarose – This is Elphaba Thropp, known as "The Elphie". She is the target. We believe she's hiding in a secret hideout in the mountains.

Galinda – If it's a secret hideout, how do you know it's there?

Nessa - ...

Phannee – You know, Nessa, you and her look a lot alike.

(Ominous music plays – camera does extreme closeup on Nessa)

Nessa – (Bonk!) Ow! Did you really have to drive the camera into my forehead?

Cameraman – Sorry. (Backs up a bit.)

Nessa – (Rubs forehead) What is this? 'Pick on Nessa' day?

Galinda – Why are we looking for this woman? What has she done?

Gov. Diggs – She is hiding in the mountains planning an insurrection against the government of Oz – namely…me!

Morrible – She's hiding in the mountains…

Galinda – Yeah, we got that.

Morrible - … with the protection of the Animals.

Galinda – She's protected by animals?

Morrible – Not animals, Animals!

Galinda - You mean animals?

Morrible - ANIMALS!

Galinda – Huh?

Shenshen – Like, I'm lost here.

Boq – (snorts) That's not too hard to do.

Morrible – We know for sure that she's talking and scheming with the Animals.

Galinda – So she can talk with the Animals?

Phannee – (sings) _Talks with the Animals…_

Boq – (sings) _Maybe she got an Animal degree…_

Galinda – _(sings) So if she walks with the Animals, talks with the Animals,_

Morrible - _(sings) Grunts and squeaks and squawks with the Animals,_

Gov. Diggs – Can we PLEASE stay on topic?

Galinda – (Blushes) Sorry.

Gov. Diggs – We need to find this woman and arrest her!

Galinda – Governor Diggs, I'm sure if you just talk to her…

Gov. Diggs – (stands up and slams hands on table) YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE HARM THIS WOMAN COULD DO! SHE COULD UNDERMINE EVERYTHING THAT WE HAVE ACCOMPLISHED FOR THE CITIZENS OF OZ! I HAVE WORKED MY WHOLE LIFE TO MAKE OZ A BETTER PLACE AND I WILL NEVER LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO THESE PEOPLE! NEVER!

Audience – (standing ovation) YAY WIZARD!

Gov. Diggs – (bows repeatedly) Thank you! Thank you!

Unknown presenter – (walks onstage with statue) Congratulations on winning the Tony Award (TM) for the best actor in a supporting role.

Gov. Diggs – Wow, thank you all. I am humbled by winning this award. I'd like to thank…

* * *

**Dream Weaver" inspired by (utube/**watch?v=drShwrbyW-M**)  
**

**The song about the Animals is "Talk to the Animals" by Bobby Darin.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Welcome to the third chapter of my parody. This chapter is a little more serious than the others as it moves the story along. However, do no fret, the silliness will return.**

**Thank you guys for all of your reviews. I love to hear how you enjoyed the story. FYI, I'm heading on vacation for a few weeks – that's why I needed to get this story completed ASAP.**

**I will also have the final chapter up as well as I wanted to get these chapters done before I left.**

**Help me feel the love, people! Please review!**

**Notice: I own "Wicked"…NOT!**

**

* * *

**

(Cast is sitting on stage – coffee break.)

Galinda – Well, we did ask for different and we certainly got it.

Shenshen –I'm just glad I can stop sounding like an idiot for at least five minutes.

Boq – (Pouring coffee) Anybody else want more coffee?

Shenshen – Yes please.

Boq – (hands her coffee) Here ya go.

Shenshen – Thanks. You know, you're not a bad guy Boq.

Boq – Yeah, you're pretty cool, too.

Author – Hey guys.

Everybody – Hey! What's up?

Author – Can you guys be ready for the next chapter in five?

Boq – Will do.

Galinda – Absolutely.

* * *

(Five minutes later.)

Author – Our fearless crew has wandered into the mountains looking for the secret hideout…

Shenshen – Like, my feet hurt. Why couldn't we use the transporters?

Boq – (muttering to himself – gritting teeth) I…will…not…shoot…her…with…phaser…

Phannee – Captain, I found the secret hideout.

Galinda – Really? How?

Phannee – (Points to sign that says,"Secret Hideout – Keep out!")

Boq – (sarcastically) Wow. That's subtle.

Shenshen – Like, it could be a trap.

Boq – Then you go first.

Galinda – Please, what makes you think it's a trap?

Author – She really has no idea, does she?

Galinda – Follow me.

(Group walks towards sign – trap door opens and all fall into an underground hideout)

Galinda – OW!

Boq – OW!

Phannee – OW!

Shenshen – OW!

Author – ALL RIGHT, WHO REMOVED THE LANDING MATS?

(People surround them with pistols and old rifles.)

Boq – What is this? _Les Miserables_?

Galinda – Uh, we come in peace?

Beaver – We've been expecting you.

Galinda – HOLY CRAP! A TALKING BEAVER!

Beaver – (rolls eyes) Follow me please.

Boq – At least he's polite.

(Walk into another room. A Goat is standing there.)

Shenshen – It's a goat.

Goat – I beg your pardon, but it's a Goat, not a goat.

Shenshen – Look, dude, don't start that again.

Galinda – (Gets in between them) Ahem, I'm Captain Upland…

Goat - …of the starship "Galinaprise". Yes, we know.

Galinda – (puzzled) How?

Goat – We read it in Chapter 1.

Beaver - Our princess has been expecting you.

Galinda – Princess?

Offstage Voice – Yes, princess.

(Elphaba walks out in beautiful ball gown.)

Galinda – (gasps) It's a baaaaall gooooooooown.

Boq – (deadpan) Thank you Megan Hilty.

Phannee – Uh, Captain…

Galinda – What?

Phannee – You know (whispering) we're here to arrest her?

Galinda – Oh yeah. (To Elphaba) Miss Elphaba Thropp, on behalf of Govenor Diggs, you are under arrest for conspiring against the government.

Elphaba – (laughs)

Author – (rubbing ears) Wow, that sounded more like a cackle.

Elphaba – Governor Diggs? You mean: the 'Wiz'?

Galinda – You call him the 'Wiz'? Why? Because he's wonderful?

Elphaba – No, because he's got to go!

Drummer – Ba dum bump!

Elphaba – Thank you! (bows)

Author – Please try the veal!

Young Calf – Ahem…

Author – Sorry.

Elphaba – Governor Diggs is also known as 'The Wizard'. He gives off an air of superiority, like he's magical or something.

Galinda – Is he magical?

Phannee – No, but (points to Fiyero) _he_ is!

Fiyero – (walks in carrying cut up wood without his shirt on)

Shenshen – Oh my … (swoon)

Phannee – He is … (swoon)

Fangirls – so hot… (swoon)

Elphaba – (To Fiyero) This is Captain Galinda Upland.

Fiyero – (Extends hand to Galinda) Pleasure to meet you, Captain.

Galinda – (Dreamy…starts to sing…) _Hands touch, sparks flash…_

Elphaba – (miffed) _Keep it up girl, I'll kick your …_

Author – Watch the story rating, Elphie!

Elphaba - _…seat!_

Shenshen – That doesn't rhyme.

Elphaba – (to Galinda – flashes ring on left hand) Trust me, you're not that girl!

Galinda – (mutters) Dang.

Elphaba – I'm explaining to them why we had to defy the Wizard.

Fiyero – You mean how he stole our throne?

Galinda – Hold the phone! _You_ were the king and queen of Oz?

Fiyero – Supposed to be. My parents were king and queen, but… (hands Galinda a newspaper clipping).

Galinda – "King and Queen of Vinkus Exiled"

Fiyero – That 'Wizard' somehow got my parents to disappear, then started to limit the rights of the Animals. That's why we _had_ to stand up to the 'Wizard'. If he can do anything he wants to anybody, where does it stop? Soon, everybody will lose their rights. (Motions towards Animals) Look at these Animals: they are regular folks trying to make a living. They live and love like the rest of us. They can be great contributors to our great society. And yet, some maniac in the Palace says they're a threat because they're different? There's no way I can support a leader that suppresses the rights of its people.

Fangirls – (Clapping) Yeah, Fiyero! Tell it like it is!

Phannee – (starstruck) Wow…that was so beautiful.

Fiyero – (to Author) Thanks man. I owe ya.

Author – No problem, bro.

Galinda – Do you have any other proof to back up your claims?

Elphaba – (picks up other newspaper articles and hands them to Galinda)

Galinda – (reading headlines) "Animal Rights Restricted", "Wizard Bans Owl from Preaching – Left Screeching", "Wizard Bans Happy Meals"…

Shenshen – Now, that's a travesty.

Boq – (muttering) Wow, I didn't know she could use big words.

Galinda – So, it's the Governor who's oppressing the people.

Elphaba – Yep.

Galinda – What about Morrible?

Elphaba – The horrible?

Fiyero – Absolutely deplorable.

Goat - Not even honorable or tolerable.

Beaver – Made our lives miserable!

Author – Alliterations r Us!

Galinda – And what about Nessarose?

Nessa – (walks in) What about her?

Galinda, Boq, Shenshen, Phannee – NESSA!

Elphaba – Hey sis! (Gives Nessa hug)

Phannee – So t_hat's_ why you two look so alike!

Galinda – I thought you two hated each other.

Nessa – Nah, that's just some story in a book somewhere.

Boq – Oh.

Nessa – (Waves to Boq smiling sweetly) Hi Boq!

Boq – (sheepishly waves back) Uh, hi.

(Galinda's Communicator Beeps)

Galinda – (Into Communicator) Hello?

Gov. Diggs – Captain, have you found the enemy yet?

Galinda – Yes, it appears we have…and the enemy is you!

Elphaba – Wow. How very authoritative of you.

Galinda – (smiles) Thank you.

Gov. Diggs – So you know my secrets now, is that right?

Galinda – Dude, you are so BUSTED!

Gov. Diggs – So, it is war against us, Captain?

Galinda – No duh.

Gov. Diggs – So be it! I will defeat you and your little green friend too. AND…I will make both you AND Elphaba my love slaves!

Gelphie fans – YES! GO WIZ!

Gov. Diggs – Yes, go me!

Elphaba and Galinda – Ew!

Gov. Diggs – What do you have to say for yourself?

Galinda – (defiant) Oh, it is _so_ on!


	4. Chapter 4

**Author walks on stage, "As owner of the musical 'Wicked'…"**

**Stephen Schwartz, Winnie Holzman and Gregory Maguire yell back, "No you're not!"**

**And now for the final chapter! **

**Also, a couple of "shout outs" to some of my favorite fanfic writers. :)  
**

**How about a little entrance music: (utube/watch?v=YnfFTVjRpLI)**

**

* * *

**

Author – Our impromptu army marches towards the Palace. Lead by Captain Galinda Upland and Princess Elphaba, they are joined by the hunky Prince Fiyero Tiggular…

Fangirls – YES! GO FIYERO!

Author - …the crew of the 'Galindaprise', Nessa, and all of the animals.

Goat – Animals!

Author – (To Goat) Sorry.

Author – (Continues) The army marches armed with phasers, dart guns, and replica rifles from_ Les Miserables_. They approach the entrance where two guards are guarding the door.

Guard at Palace – Why are they walking so slowly?

Author – Slow motion photography.

Guard – Oh.

Author - Back to normal speed...

Nessa – Let us pass. We are here to arrest the Governor.

Guard #1 – Sorry, Nessa, you are no longer in charge. (Hands her papers.)

Galinda – What's that?

Nessa – (stunned) It's a 'Burn Notice' (TM).

Author – (chuckles) Shameless Plugs r Us!

Boq – (Walks up to guard) Yo, buddy. Let me let you in on a secret…

Guard #1 - (Leans towards Boq to listen.)

Boq – (Grabs guard #1's neck and pinches)

Guard #1 – What are you doing?

Boq – Uh, Vulcan neck pinch?

Guard #2 – No, no, no. You're doing it wrong. You've got it much too high. It's down where the shoulder meets the neck.

Elphaba – (Walks up to Guard #2) You mean here? (Pinches Guard #2's neck).

Guard #2 – (smiles) Yeah. That's it. (Falls to ground out cold.)

Boq – Oh ok. Thanks. (Changes hand position – guard #1 falls to ground)

(Group walks into courtyard which is suspiciously empty.)

Galinda –The courtyard is suspiciously empty.

Phannee – It's quiet here.

Fiyero – Too quiet.

Nessa – Where's the guards?

Guard – (comes out of hiding – points to our heroes) THERE THEY ARE!

(Large number of guards appear!)

Shenshen – CRAP!

Galinda – Take cover!

(Awesome laser/phaser/gun fight ensues.)

Boq – (shaking his phaser) Dangit! My phaser is jammed!

Nessa – (Throws large gun to him) USE THE DART GUN!

Boq – (Grabs large gun pulls trigger – loud 'pffffft' sound with big brown stinky cloud comes from end of gun and wafts over guards.)

Guards – (cough) (choke)

(All the guards pass out.)

Boq – (Waves hand in front of nose) Phew!

Phannee – I don't think it's a _dart_ gun.

Author – (evil grin) I know…I'm despicable.

Morrible – STOP!

Galinda – Oh, can it, prune face! You're under arrest.

Morrible – I don't think so! (Pulls a sheet off of a BFG)

Morrible – Now, face 'Morrible's Meterological Monstrosity Machine'!

Phannee – Wow, alliterate much?

Morrible – (sits in chair on BFG)

Shenshen – What's a 'BFG'?

Author – If you don't know, I'm not explaining it.

Morrible – HA HA! Face my wrath!

(BFG fires beam of light into air - massive rainstorm and hailstorm appears.)

Shenshen – Ugh! My hair!

Boq – Please, it will be an improvement!

Morrible – Mwahahahahahaha!

(Rushing wind comes from end of gun. Tornado forms.)

Galinda – This is an awful twister of fate!

(Tornado picks up a house...)

Morrible – (To Nessa) And, as for you, traitor…

Nessa – On no! Not again!

CRASH!

(House falls on Nessa)

Elphaba – NESSA!

Boq – (runs over to house) NESSA! Speak to me!

(silence)

Boq – (sadly) Nessa, brave Nessa, I promise you that you shall not have died in vain!

Nessa – (from inside house - muffled) I'm not dead yet.

Boq – Well…you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!

(Front door opens)

Nessa – That's the sweetest thing anybody has ever said to me!

(They embrace and kiss passionately.)

Music – _Oooo,_ _Dream Weaver…_

Audience – Awwwww…

Bessa fans – YAY! WOO HOO!

Music - _I believe you can…_

CRASH!

(Second house falls on Nessa and Boq).

Morrible – Ugh, I can't stand that song!

Elphaba – NOOOOOO!

Bessa Fans – NOOOOOO!

Galinda – (pissed) THAT'S IT! Fire on that Weather Maker!

(All fire phasers at Morrible. Machine explodes and sends Morrible flying.)

Elphaba – (Walks over and falls down in front of house crying) No! Nessa, please, please, please forgive me...

(Front door opens.)

Nessa – (smiles) Ok.

Elphaba - (Squeals with joy as they hug)

Fiyero – Did you just squeal?

Elphaba – (embarrassed) Uh…no.

Galinda – Nessa! You're alive!

Elphaba – How did you survive?

Nessa – (pulls out big document) It's in my contract. See here (points to sheet), I have a "no death" clause.

Galinda – (shocked) What about Boq?

Boq – (Come out front door holding contract) Apparently, I have the same agent!

Nessa – Really? (dreamy) Oh Boq! It must be fate that brought us together.

Shenshen – (muttering) It's clear they deserve each other.

Galinda – I hate to break up this romantic moment but there's a Wizard we need to get!

Nessa – I'll take care of Morrible. You go and get Diggs.

(Everybody walks up to Governor's Office)

Galinda – (Throws doors open) Governor Diggs, you are under arrest!

Phannee – Uh, he's not here!

(Doors slam and lock behind everybody.)

Shenshen – Like, it's a trap!

Boq – Ya think?

(TV screen lights up)

Gov. Diggs – You're too late. I've already made my escape, I am long gone from here, and your doom awaits...

(Timer appears on screen with 3 seconds left.)

Galinda – Oh, this is not good!

(Palace blows up in nuclear explosion taking the entire city with it.)

Author – STOP!

(Scene pauses)

Author – Oh sure. As if I'm going to end my story with _THAT_!

Boq – Hey, let's do the 'Scooby Doo' ending!

Author – OK.

(Scene reverses to…)

Nessa – I'll take care of Morrible. You go and get Diggs.

(Everybody walks up to Governor's Office)

Galinda – (Throws doors open) Governor Diggs, you are under arrest!

Gov. Diggs – I don't think so! (Runs for other door.)

Fiyero – (Tackles Diggs.) No you don't!

Fangirls – (screams) He's so brave!

Elphaba – Aaah…My ears!

Gov. Diggs – Let me go!

Elphaba – (Walks up to the now captured Diggs.) Now let's see who you really are. (Pulls mask off of Diggs.)

Elphaba, Fiyero and Animals – Old man Smithers?

Smithers – And I woulda gotten away with it too if it wasn't for you meddling kids!

Author – (Crosses arms and smiles) Cool.

Galinda – Ooh, can we do the 'Mega Happy' ending?

Author – Sure.

(Scene reverses to…)

Nessa – I'll take care of Morrible. You go and get Diggs.

(Everybody walks up to Governor's Office)

Galinda – (Throws doors open) Governor Diggs, you are under arrest!

Gov. Diggs – I don't think so! (Runs for other door.)

Fiyero – (Tackles Diggs.) No you don't!

Fangirls – (scream) He's so brave!

Elphaba – Aaah…Again, my ears!

Gov. Diggs – Let me go!

Nessa – (walks in) Mr. Diggs, you and your companions are finished. (To guards beside her.) Take him away!

Gov. Diggs – (While being led away) You can't do this to me! I'm the 'Wonderful Wizard of Oz!'

Boq – Hey, Wiz, have fun being the 'Wonderful Wizard of Southstairs Penitentiary'!

Galinda – Prince and Princess Tiggular, Oz is now under your rule. You can now take your rightful place as King and Queen.

Elphaba – Thanks to you and your crew. (Hugs Galinda)

Nessa – (To Boq - sadly) I guess this is goodbye?

Bessa fans – (crying) Nooooooo!

Boq – (To Nessa) Come with me, explore the stars and the universe with me.

Nessa – Oh, Boq, really?

Boq – My life would be incomplete without you.

Bessa fans – DO IT! DO IT!

Nessa – (Looks to Elphaba)

Elphaba – Go and be happy. You've protected me for so long it's your turn to have somebody look after you.

Nessa – I'll miss you.

Elphaba – Don't be a stranger.

(They hug)

Audience – Awwwwww.

Galinda – Transport, five to beam up.

(Bubble appears around Galinda, Boq, Phannee, Shenshen and Nessa. As bubble disappears, each of them disappear.)

(On 'Galindaprise' Bridge.)

Boq – All systems go.

Galinda – Alrighty, then. Lets…

(Ship gets rock by laser blast.)

Galinda – Aw man! I just got this ship painted! Sheilds up! Red alert!

Phannee – No pink alert?

Galinda – We're beyond that now!

Shenshen – Like, there are a number of ships attacking us!

Boq – Captain, we're getting a message from one of the attacking ships. She claims to be the leader of the 'Gelphites'.

Nessa – (Slaps forehead) Oh no. Not them!

Galinda – (Seething) Put her through.

(Screen lights up to show…)

Woman on Screen – I am 'Tashie Helena' the leader of the 'Gelphites', servants of the goddess 'Demlurina'. Our demands have been ignored for too long. You will surrender your ship and submit yourself and Princess Elphaba to our demands!

Elphaba – (on split screen) Captain Upland, you're not going to seriously listen to them, are you?

Galinda – Not a chance. (Into intercom) Battle stations!

(Alarm sounds)

Galinda – (Evil grin) This is going to be one heck of a fight.

**THE END**


End file.
